TOP-25 BEATLES PRESS CONFERENCE QUIPS

Press: Recently there has been an article published in Rolling Stone magazine stating that Day Tripper was about a prostitute, and Norwegian Wood was about a lesbian. What was you're intent when writing these songs?
Paul: We were just trying to write songs about prostitutes and lesbians.

Press: Does it bother you that you can't hear what you sing during concerts?
John: No, we don't mind. We've got the records at home.

Press: Are you a mod or a rocker?
Ringo: I'm a mocker.

Press: George, is the place you were brought up a bit like Greenwich Village?
George: No, more like the Bowery.

Press: Are you afraid military service might break up your careers?
John: No. There's no draft in England now. We're going to let you do our fighting for us.

Press: Beethoven figures in one of your songs. What do you think of Beethoven?
Ringo: I love him. Especially his poems.

Press: Do you have any special message for Dutch youth?
John: Tell them to buy Beatle records.

Press: Do you like topless bathing suits?
Ringo: We've been wearing them for years.

Press: Do you speak french?
Paul: Non!

Press: Do you wear wigs?
John: If we do, they must be the only ones with real dandruff.

Press: Does your hair require any special attention?
John: Inattention is the main thing.

Press: Don't you ever get a haircut?
George: I had one yesterday.
Ringo: You should have seen him the day before.

Press: How do you feel about teenagers imitating you with Beatle wigs?
John: They're not imitating us because we don't wear Beatle wigs.

Press: How do you spend your time when you're cooped up in a hotel room between the shows?
John: We play tennis and water polo, and hide ourselves from our parole officers.

Press: Is it true none of you can read or write music?
Paul: None of us can read or write music. The way we work is like, we just whistle. John will whistle at me and I'll whistle back at him.

Press: What are some of your favorite programs on American television?
Paul: News in Espanol from Miami. Popeye. Bullwinkle. All the cultural stuff.
John: I like American TV because you can get eighteen stations, but you can't get a good picture on any of them.

Press: What did you think when your airplane's engine began smoking as you landed today?
Ringo: Beatles, women, and children first!

Press: What do you do when you're cooped up in a hotel room between shows?
George: We ice skate.

Press: What do you think you've contributed to the musical field?
Ringo: Records.
George: A laugh and a smile.

Press: What is the biggest threat to your careers, the atom bomb or dandruff?
Ringo: The atom bomb. We've already got dandruff.

Press: What is the reason you are the most popular singing group today?
All four: Don't know. No idea.
John: If we knew, we'd get together four boys with long hair and be managers.

Press: When are you going to cut your hair, Paul?
John: What do you mean? He got it cut yesterday.

Press: Why is it that you Ringo get more fan mail than the others?
Ringo: I dunno. I suppose it's because more people write me.

Press (to George): Did you write "Ringo's Theme"?
George: No, did you? You haven't been reading the little bits of paper, have you, that says who writes "Ringo's Theme"?

Press: Who in the world would the Beatles like to meet more than anyone else?
Ringo: The real Santa Claus. www.beatles2020.net Home